Why do I want 2 kids? Well my husband and I have siblings and we know how much fun it is to have a friend right at home all the time to play to share to fight to care and just so much more. As a child I have had my share of fights with my older brother and the regular cribbing with my mom and dad that they loved him more than me. But today as a mother of 2, I have realized that as a parent you can never make a choice between your kids. Yes you may have opinion on your child’s capabilities and I guess that only helps in making your child work on their weakness and be a better person however it is never to show down on either of them ever. My husband too shares with me his sibling times of fun and fights and it all sounds like this is pretty much what happens in any family with more than 1 child. And trust me, having a sibling made no difference with our social status of making more friends. My brother and I have just been as outgoing as we could be. Our parents met with all our needs and yes we too had those so called restrictions on what we could get and not but we never had a reason to crib. Hats off to my parents!!
But well, I loved my time with my brother. No matter what amount of sourness we had on more topics than agreements he was always my shield for anything and everything through my life. When my parents were having a tough time agreeing upon my inter-state marriage, it was my brother who stood by to say that he respects my decision. When I knew I was pregnant for the 1st time I really hoped for a boy so he too could be an older brother for a lovely sister to share all and more that my brother and I experienced.
I got married at 28 and got pregnant at 30. I was working in the UK until 1 month before my delivery. All the regular checkups were normal however my child somehow seemed to refuse to come out. The doctors there told me I have made a very cozy environment for my child inside and that until they felt something was not normal they would not interfere with the process. Finally my son was born in the 10th month through C-section. My son, our 1st child was born in the UK and the hospital staff was amazed to see the number of family members around as we had my parents and my in laws over from India and my cousin was always around. I must say I was blessed with all the rest and recouping time I could get after my C-section.
Like many other moms I thought I would get back to job after my maternity break so I started looking out for suitable daycare centres. I felt I searched and searched but somehow nothing convinced me for various reasons. Finally I quit my job and decided to take this time off to be with my son for longer time. I did not miss a single moment of his growing up times. There were times I became a child with him however by the time he was 4 we realized he needed just more than us. My husband and I realized it was time for us to finalise on our decision. It was time for a 2nd baby to be a part of the family. Just like my 1st pregnancy we called all our family member and informed about our 2nd baby coming over soon. We told them that we have decided to adopt a baby girl and that she will be with us as soon as our papers are finalized.
I must say here that being a very liberal family all our friends and relatives were glad to hear about our decision and wished us the best for a speedy process. Once we filed the papers and all the documentations were in place we had our little bundle of joy with us in 6 months time. Of all, my son was the happiest on Earth. He could not believe that he made a wish and god gifted it. He would talk about her to every visitor who came home. He made sure he helped me with everything to do for her. He was just around 5 and half years old and she was 14 months old and he held her preciously. He learnt to operate the microwave so he could warm up her milk. He went shopping with us and selected all her clothing. He decided her clothes for each day. He was so possessive about her then and he is still so today. When either of them gets scolded it is a treat to watch how the other runs for rescue. These days time-out given to one becomes time-out for both as neither of them want to be alone in that corner. I never knew my daughter would be so happy to drive a car and my son would love to play with a kitchen set but they both are perpetually together and taking care of each other all the time.
Certainly at times it gets a lot at hand with 2 kids and a job but if anyone asks me or my hubby whether we would be happier with one then our answer is a certain NO.
Well the adoption was not just about me. It was not because I could not carry another baby or I had any health issues or any such reason. The decision to adopt was way bigger than just me or my husband or my biological son. We had so much love to give that we wanted to give it to our 2 gifted kids.
I am not writing this to promote the thought of adoption however to all those who are having difficulty with conceiving or are just as simple as planning for another baby but do not wish to go through the process of pregnancy, trust me, adoption is the least painful and a very beautiful option to consider.